Bike seat: no longer attached to bike.
Here's a tip from recent experiences: If you put your bike on top of your car, you need to remember it is there before you drive into your garage. Especially if its a new bike that you just got for your birthday. Especially if it happens to be a somewhat expensive bike. Especially if you really love your bike and don't want to get a new one.
If you do want to get a new one, this could be a handy way to make it happen. Otherwise, avoid at all costs.
That crunching, scratching, metal on brick on metal sound is not something you ever want to hear when you start driving into your garage.
Luckily for us, our bike rack is one where you take the front tire off, meaning the handlebars of my bike were low enough to avoid complete destruction. The seat post wasn't so lucky, but it was lucky to be made of carbon fiber, which means it snapped apart without doing any damage to the frame.
So sad. Apparently the new seat post and seat I got are a step up and better quality, but its not the same. Also, the guy at the bike store seemed really concerned about my rear-end when he found out I don't wear cushioned bike shorts. I'll show him.
The life lesson I learned from this is: do not have Aaron come pick me up. Just ride my bike home, even if its raining, even if I have a stomach ache.